Think on These Things
When I graduated from college almost two years ago, I had a small notebook sitting out at my party for friends and family to write a quick note and sign so I could remember who all showed up.A while after my party, I started using the rest of that notebook to take notes in church. (I figured why waste the rest of the book?!)This past Sunday I was reading through the notes everyone wrote for the first time in a little while. It was fun to read everyone's notes and remember that exciting day in my life!"You are a fantabulous person and I'm so glad I've gotten the chance to get to know you.""I have no idea what you plan on doing with your life but it's going to be AWESOME!""We are so proud of you....We know He has great things in store for you!""I know you will have a bright future...""I know God has amazing things planned for you!"All of these are such kind and loving things to say! I loved being able to read over all the encouraging words people left for me.As I was reading though, a nagging voice in the back of my head kept questioning if what I was reading was accurate. Negative thoughts crept in almost before I had a chance to process the happiness and warmth brought on by the kind comments people wrote."You haven't done anything great...have you?!""Why would they be proud of you? You haven't done anything impressive or praiseworthy.""There isn't anything about you that's worth these compliments. Nothing special or unique about you."Along with these thoughts came an overwhelming sense of failure and frustration. With each negative thought a cloud of darkness slowly crept into my heart and dragged my spirit down. I could feel it latching onto my heart. I had to physically shake myself to get the negative thoughts to stop flooding my head.I sat there wondering why I struggle so much with self-doubt and issues of self-worth. I wondered why it's so much easier to believe the lies than it is the truth. When I asked these "WHY" questions, two different answers came to mind.Listening for GodThe first was the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:9-12. Elijah is hiding out in a cave when the Lord tells him to stand out on the mountain before the Lord. A strong wind passes by, but the Lord is not in it. An earthquake shakes the mountains, yet the Lord is not in it. A fire comes, but the Lord is not in it. Then Elijah hears a low whisper at the entrance of the cave and knows the Lord is there.This story was such a reminder that God often speaks the truth into our lives in a quiet voice, so we must be listening for him. It's hard to listen for God when we are so consumed with listening and following the world around us. I know I don't spend enough time just listening to what God has to say about my life. I also know that I spend way too much time worrying about how others will view me and what my life should look like based on the standards of success the world sets. I get too distracted by the 'wind', 'earthquakes', and 'fires' around me to pay any real attention to God's truth. I need to learn to listen to God alone!Worth It The second answer I got in response to my questions was something Pastor Don said during one of our staff devotions recently. He was telling us that in real estate it's often said that "nothing is worth more than what someone is willing to pay for it." In other words, it doesn't matter what you think something is worth, but what the buyer thinks it's worth. God thought I was worth so much that he allowed his Son to DIE to save me. His only Son. God valued us so much he sacrificed his Son to bring us closer to him. If I'm only worth what someone is willing to pay, God must really think I'm worth something. That blows my mind!I have to keep reminding myself of these two things everyday. God wants to communicate his truth to me, but I must be willing to listen. God already determined my worth when he sent his son Jesus to die for me. I don't need to be listening to the negative thoughts that tell me I'm not worth it. I don't need to question if I'm good enough for the praise of others.I also know that I'm not the only one who struggles with these hours, days, weeks, or maybe even years of self-doubt and questions of self-worth. I need frequent reminders to focus on what God says about me rather than what the world says about me. This verse is always a great reminder for me when I'm struggling with this:"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8 (KJV)Don't you just love how this verse reminds us to listen to God's truth and ONLY God's truth?! Believing anything else is just a waste of time and energy because it's not truth.